Here Is What I Know

 Dusting off a corner of the blog today to type a little note... It's been six months too long. But I'm back, armed with a cup or two of Ethiopian coffee {thanks for speaking my love language and bringing 12 pounds back, mom and dad}, some encouragement from a dear friend, and this stirring in my heart, ready to put something out.

 These past six months have been beautiful and challenging all at once. God has drawn me into this sweet, intimate awareness of Him; He has shown me the beauty of spending time alone with Him. Having time with my Savior alone put this public space on the back burner for two months.

 The initial two months were needed. I began to crave writing again. But then there were many days I sat down to write with a burst of inspiration, only to stop after a paragraph or two with an oh, I'll get back to it. There were also days I sat with fingers hovering over these black keys, trying to think of something, anything worth writing about.

 I think somewhere along the way, I bought into the lie that I did not know enough. I didn't know enough about what I wanted to write on. I didn't know enough about blogging. I didn't know what people would want to read, or if anyone would even like what I put out. This quiet fear just slowly overwhelmed me.

 And while it's hard, typing these words is such a relief to my soul.

 Here is the thing I'm learning: the unknown should not hold you back. Yes, it is scary- fear and insecurity will hold you captive if you let them. There is a lot I don't know. And that fact hindered me for a while. But God is beginning to remind me again of what I do know.

 I know that God has not given us a spirit of fearfulness.

 I know that He calls us to boldly proclaim His name.

 I know that He has given me this desire to share my heart through the power of words.

 Again, there is a lot I do not know. But I'm committing to share what I do know. And in doing so, God continues to reveal more of His truth.

 Tomorrow morning, I board a plane to the Dominican Republic. I have the amazing privilege to spend a week working alongside Compassion International and loving on some precious kids. I'll get to meet the girl I sponsor through Compassion, nine year old Mari who ends her letters saying "goodbye with a big hug." During the week, I will run into a lot a don't know. I won't know the language. I won't know the people, city, or culture. I don't know what I'm going to see and experience.

 What I do know is that whatever happens, whoever I meet, wherever I go, God is with me. I know Christ is calling me to love, to serve, to learn in this country. I know that He is going to show up in unexpected ways and that I will be shown more love than I could even think about giving.

 I'm holding to His promises, and in Him I will not allow the unknown to hold me captive.

 I'm stepping out in faith, clinging to the One who knows me best. What I do not know will not hold me in fear because I know Him.

 Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.