Yesterday, August 18th, marked two months since I left for a journey that changed my life. That "changed my life" part is hardly what I want to say, because I feel like everyone says that. It barely does anything justice. But the truth is even two months after, I'm still not sure sure how to put it all into words.
At times it's hard to believe I've been home that long. It's hard to believe because I feel like I never quite left Ethiopia. I left my heart in that country and most days the beautiful people hold a cherished spot in the back of my mind. Some days though, the memories roar to the front and I pull out notes from my Ethiopian sisters, I look at pictures of my little brothers, and I long so much to be back with them.
Ethiopia will forever have a place in my heart, and I know I'll see my Ethiopian family again. But sometimes I miss them so much it hurts. Most of the time though I smile at the memories, filled with hope and His promises.
Especially during this month that signifies promises continuing to unfold.
This month states one year since God rocked my world for the world. I had kinda hoped to celebrate it, to look back and remember in some special way; but instead I spent the day simply marveling at His mighty works and presence with my toes in the sand. I looked out across the ocean and instead of dwelling on that day a year ago, I looked forward to all that He is continuing to do.
He is continuing to change me and mold my heart. A year ago, I wouldn't have thought of giving up birthday presents to give a child hope. A year ago, I didn't think that broken was quite possibly one of the best places to find yourself.
One year ago I thought I had it all down; I thought I knew the ropes of this Jesus thing.
But now I realize that is the furthest thing from the truth. I still don't know half of it. Fear still creeps in and I freeze, wanting to stay in my bubble of safe and comfort because sometimes a call to missions is just plain scary. But Christ gently continues to pull me out of my comfort zone. He pulls me out of my comfort zone here in Georgia and He places in my heart in the hands of those whom it is not always comfortable to love.
Because following Christ is not about comfortable. Following Christ is radical. Following Christ pushes you to radical faith and with that faith He pulls you away from your safe zone. He shows you the steps to take even though you can't see two feet down the road. I think that sometimes He guides us step by step because He wants us to trust Him. He wants us to realize that life isn't all about the final destination. He wants us to take our faith, pick up our cross, and live each day sold out for Him.
At times it's hard to believe I've been home that long. It's hard to believe because I feel like I never quite left Ethiopia. I left my heart in that country and most days the beautiful people hold a cherished spot in the back of my mind. Some days though, the memories roar to the front and I pull out notes from my Ethiopian sisters, I look at pictures of my little brothers, and I long so much to be back with them.
Ethiopia will forever have a place in my heart, and I know I'll see my Ethiopian family again. But sometimes I miss them so much it hurts. Most of the time though I smile at the memories, filled with hope and His promises.
Especially during this month that signifies promises continuing to unfold.
This month states one year since God rocked my world for the world. I had kinda hoped to celebrate it, to look back and remember in some special way; but instead I spent the day simply marveling at His mighty works and presence with my toes in the sand. I looked out across the ocean and instead of dwelling on that day a year ago, I looked forward to all that He is continuing to do.
He is continuing to change me and mold my heart. A year ago, I wouldn't have thought of giving up birthday presents to give a child hope. A year ago, I didn't think that broken was quite possibly one of the best places to find yourself.
One year ago I thought I had it all down; I thought I knew the ropes of this Jesus thing.
But now I realize that is the furthest thing from the truth. I still don't know half of it. Fear still creeps in and I freeze, wanting to stay in my bubble of safe and comfort because sometimes a call to missions is just plain scary. But Christ gently continues to pull me out of my comfort zone. He pulls me out of my comfort zone here in Georgia and He places in my heart in the hands of those whom it is not always comfortable to love.
Because following Christ is not about comfortable. Following Christ is radical. Following Christ pushes you to radical faith and with that faith He pulls you away from your safe zone. He shows you the steps to take even though you can't see two feet down the road. I think that sometimes He guides us step by step because He wants us to trust Him. He wants us to realize that life isn't all about the final destination. He wants us to take our faith, pick up our cross, and live each day sold out for Him.
This is absolutely beautiful, Abigail! God's work in your life so far has been absolutely amazing thus far and I can't wait to see all He's going to keep on doing in & through you. I think immediately of Philippians 1:6 as I'm reading this post - Dear Abigail, I am SO confident of this: He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. :)
ReplyDeleteAw Alyssa, thank you SO much!!
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