The Place Where Fairness Ends and Sacrificial Love Overflows

  It's not fair. It's completely, utterly unfair.

 Why should I be sitting here in my bedroom that is over twice the size of Yikram's house?

 I'm getting a queen-size mattress this week. So why should Yikram's mother have to send three of her children to live with family four hours away because they don't even have a bed the size of a twin. 

 I don't understand. I hate it. It's not fair that I have multiple flushing toilets when they share one squatty potty with the whole block. 

 It isn't fair that I have the chance for an education when in my heart's home across the world, a woman is selling plastic water jugs to earn money that won't even cover the rent, much less send a child to school.

 I'm sick of it. I'm sick and tired of being comfortable in first-world America and my breaking heart is affirming that. My heart is screaming "why?!"  I'm weeping at the injustice and wondering just where is the hope?! Where is the fairness in this broken mess of a world? And why isn't anyone doing anything?! 

 But you know what else wasn't fair? It wasn't fair for Me to be nailed between two pieces of splintered wood. To those that loved Me, it didn't seem fair for Me to be openly scorned and rejected for crimes I didn't commit.

For When I {still} Don't Have the Words

 In my post last week, I mentioned still not having the words to say. How am I supposed to put a trip like our Ethiopia trip into words? Where do I even start? I was beginning to experience frustration over this incapability to find the words. Words that accurately relate my experiences in a poverty-stricken country back to middle-class America.

 I would sit here and think about the fact that the backpack I'd set down on the floor of my sponsor sister's one-room house contained more money than her entire house cost to rent for a month. My seemingly small amount of spending money was more than her family makes in a month.

 And then today, some song came on {I don't even remember what song it was- go figure.} that spoke of this. Even before time began, THE Word was. In the beginning, all things were created through The Word that was with God. As I spent ten days chasing the heart of God halfway across the world, The Word was life and light in the darkness. The Word was God. And for the two months I've spent searching for words, The Word was already there, woven into every story bottled up in my heart.

Living Sent, Ethiopia: His Presence

 Wow. I really failed at updating my Ethiopia journey daily. Oops. Sorry. I have a valid excuse though, because WinShape Camps. But hey, I'm picking up where I left off so whatever.

Tuesday, June 24th

Simple peace. Sweet, overwhelming presence. Today was yet another powerful day. We witnessed and participated in little glimpses of the Kingdom come. From a powerful worship and prayer time this morning on Mount Tabor, to an equally powerful and overwhelming service at the church tonight, God was there.

 God was there.

 And isn't that just as He promised? Didn't He say He would never leave us, and that He would pour out His Spirit on all people?

 He is with us as we join together, Ethiopian and American in His creation, praising His name.

 I feel the peace of God that is so sweet and pure, yet so profound and overwhelming as I learn to lean completely on Him.

Living Sent, Ethiopia: In Which Life Change is Real

 Monday, June 23rd

Today we saw life change. Today, we experienced life change in the depths of our own hearts. We saw God's sovereignty and perfect plan at work. As we built up a wall, we participated in building His Kingdom in the hearts of our Ethiopian brothers and sisters.

 We echoed cries of "Hallelujah, Jesus," as we got to be the hope in this woman's life. Participating in her joy, we also shared in her hurts, in her prayers for her spiritually lost son to find rest in the Father. We got to be the hands and feet and heart of Jesus.

 We saw His spirit strengthen hearts as we strengthened walls. And as the faith of this precious mother of five encouraged and humbled us, God's spirit moved among us and brought her son to faith in our Lord. We witnessed this boy walk from a path of destruction to a new, full life of lasting hope.

Living Sent, Ethiopia: Choosing Hope

Sunday, June 22nd

 There is a story playing throughout all creation. It is one of joy and pain, of heartbreak and hope. But on days like today, the hope greatly outweighs the heartbreak as we get glimpses of the Kingdom come and I remember why I so enjoy this Compassion thing. Because although witnessing Compassion families walking away from the material aspect of poverty excites, is that the part that really fires me up and causes my eyes to fill with tears? No.

 That happens in seeing the fact that though these beautiful people may still live in poverty, they worship their Lord with such abandon. It is in praising with the center staff over the salvation on 200+ students since the start of their program. And not only 200+ plus students, but also 200+ caregivers letting Christ be Lord in their life.

 Seeing hope in action as you hear from the mouth of a child that 'God loves us big'- it is in those moments that I realize Compassion works.

Living Sent, Ethiopia: Worth It.

Saturday, June 21st

 VBS, Ethiopia style. Perhaps the most fun, precious thing ever. But then again, I could say that about our flower ceremony. I would say it about the selfies these sweet, sweet children love to take, and the way they love to dance. I could say it about our visit with little Yikram and her mother and looking up to see her VBS craft hanging so proudly on the wall of her one-room house.

Living Sent, Ethiopia: Day One

 Friday, June 20th

 Well, now I have officially joined my heart on this beautiful African soil. Most of the day was spent viewing it from the window of a bus, but I am so so so glad to just be here. But there is an element of shock and heartbreak, as the contrast of poverty and beauty is overwhelming.  As is the contrast of the poverty from what I consider 'normal'. I wake up from sleeping in a king-sized bed in an air-conditioned room, load up my suitcase full of clean clothes, and get on a bus to ride in comfort. On the other hand people are trying to find a way into our bus, standing at the windows in tattered clothing, begging for money or food. Then there are business men walking out of their big, tall office buildings while just a couple blocks away a child sleeps soundly in an alley, using a plastic bag as a blanket.

Living Sent, Ethiopia: We're Back!

 We've been back on American soil for 24+ hours, but my head is still in Ethiopia time and I'm half-asleep right now. It was a 'welcome home', but also in a way, it's just a 'welcome back'. They say home is where the heart is, and my heart is just as much over there as it is here. I know that I'll be back in Awassa, in the Meserete Kristos Church, among those precious Compassion children. It may not be next year, but I'll be back. Those children captured my heart, and I'm hoping writing it all out will help me process this past week. I'm going to try to post once a day this week for each journal entry I wrote. So, here goes the first {short} one!

Living Sent: Ethiopia

 Oh my. It. is. here. In just a few hours I'll be on a plane heading to a country that already has my heart. And though I really should be sleeping, I'm writing. 'Cause that's how it always works... I'm going to try to blog as much as I can throughout the week, but whatever internet connection we might have will be very spotty to say the least, so I may just have to post them all when we get back. But I figured I might as well start now, because my heart is so full I don't think that I'm going to sleep much at all tonight. And hey, it's 9:00am in Ethiopia right now, so I'll be up this time tomorrow anyways. Haha.

I want to live my life sent out for Him, in my community and across the world. Ethiopia is just a step in the journey on which God has me. I want to demonstrate compassion to the people of Ethiopia, to break with, to walk with them. I pray I continue to chase His heart for the world as I follow Him to a beautiful country with precious people whom I am so ready to see face-to-face. I'm humbled and thankful to be His hands and feet, showing His love to a thousand generations.

A Promise Being Fulfilled from a Dream Unveiled

 Several posts have been started in the past few weeks that I have yet to finish. I'll get to them, I promise. But for now the blog break ends to share with you...

 Nine days. We're into the single-digit territory now. We're heading full-force into a time that is full of packing and planning and praying and shopping, a time of impatience and of trust, and of praying some more. Nine mere days until we are headed to a country that already has my heart.

 The past couple weeks especially have been a time of reflection and of hope for the future. There have been moments of fear, when the enormity of everything I cannot control overwhelms me. But Christ always, always steps in and replaces the fear with more of Him. I look back and see how perfectly He has orchestrated everything to bring me right exactly where I need to be.

 Back in December, I was absolutely positive God's plan included a week-long June mission trip to Costa Rica, a trip that would have me gone the same week my dad would be leading a trip to the opposite side of the earth- Ethiopia.

 But sometimes God's plan is quite different from our own.

Looking Forward to Summer 2014

   Okay, we've got some pretty important news around here, y'all. You know, super-big-crazy-exciting-important news. The kind of news that has me looking forward to June 19th-29th until those ten days actually come. News that has me giddy with excitement and also kinda nervous. News about which, for those of you who know me well, I've already talked your head off..

 You remember when I told you God placed a passion in my heart for Compassion International and a love for the children whose lives they are changing? Well, this summer I have an incredible opportunity to live out that passion across the globe. In Hawassa, Ethiopia, to be exact. My sister, our parents, and myself will be traveling with Compassion International and a team from our church to serve alongside our partner church in Ethiopia to provide a VBS-style event for the kids in the program. We will also visit the homes of some of the children, and worship with them on Sunday. We have the opportunity to hang out with our family's sponsor child, Yikram, as well.