Soften My Heart, Lord; Break Me Apart.

 Ya know, yesterday, posting this, I felt like it was a little vague. I posted it anyways though because I'm sort of  in the dark too about where these 31 days are going to lead but I'm trusting Him.

I need You to soften my heart and break me apart,
Oh I need You to pierce through the dark
And cleanse every part of me.  
 All I am, I surrender.

  This song. It gets me every time. I'm taken back to moments of a spiritual high, to moments of emotion. But here lately, half the time I sing this song it just falls so flat. What's up with that? It's as if my lips are just repeating words my heart has forgotten.

 And I'm sitting here with these words from my fingers falling short as well because I'm just not feeling them.

 Maybe my heart has forgotten...

 I remember my mom asking me recently, "Why don't you ever sing anymore?"

 I brushed it off saying something about me still singing and I didn't think any more about it. But I'm wondering now if her mama-heart was seeing something in the making. Something that I missed.


 Because I don't sing anymore. Not from my heart. Somewhere, sometime, I lost the need to sing to my Lord. I lost the desire I had to lift my voice to Him and only Him. I ceased to feel the complete outpour of His love thus I stopped worshiping in response to it.

 Give me faith 
To trust what You say,
That You're good
And Your love is great.

 His love is great. His love is not based on whether I feel it in the moment. It is not a love based on emotion. The love He has for me never changes and never stops.

 Oh Lord, give me faith.

 I want to feel His love in the depths of my soul again. And I think the only way to do that is to find again the faith that surpasses the moment. Faith that holds strong in the hard times.

 These words of mine feel so incomplete but He makes all things new. He is making all things new.

  God, create a clean heart for me
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

-Psalm 51:10 HCSB

Read my first 31 day post here.